When reality changes, the dreams don't have to

Some very nice tri footage

Picking up the pieces

The last 4 months have been the craziest times of my life. I have always thought that I am a man of faith, and have secretly laughed at fellow Christians who have fallen by the wayside, thinking that I will never be like them. But I have been proven wrong, because when I was faced with adversity, I wavered, and I have done many things that I should never have done. I have sinned BIG TIME. I was chasing a fantasy that would never come true. God has been left out of the picture for a while now. I hope I have finally woken up.

Everything happens for a reason. I really hope I am wiser now. Though everything is kind of screwed right now, I just want to work hard at getting back the kind of life I had before. I want to continue chasing my dreams and be happy, and more importantly, I need to have God in my life again.

"People are meant to be loved.
Things are meant to be used.
The reason why the world is in chaos is because
things are being loved,

and people are being used."

Blast from the past.....1992

Me and that geeky grin:)

Quote I like

"The chief cause of failure and unhappiness is trading what we want most for what we want at the moment."

Being overly competitive

Lightweight wheels that cost $5000 a pair? aero helmet? all for a kid's cycling race??
This kid's parents must be nuts......really nuts!!!
What sort of values are being imparted from the parents to the kid?
Honestly, it is a good reminder for all of us as well.

Hawaii 2010 Inspiration

It's been a while since my last post. My life is a bit topsy turvy right now. Haven't been training much; in fact, I cannot remember when was the last time I have been so slack in my training. The past few weeks I have been clocking only double-digit bike mileage. Whatever drive I had at the beginning of the year is now gone. I just wish that everything can get back to normal, but it just does not happen that way. Which begs the question "Why?". Is the resistance coming from me? I often ask myself why I do not want to keep on trying. Surely, I know that the light at the end of the tunnel may just be round the corner if I press on a little while more.

The epic between Macca and Raelert - cat and mouse till the very end!

Nice video!!.....shows the run form of the pros


HEART of a champion

Taste and see that the Lord is good!

some pretty inspirational stuff!!
song in first video can be found here

Assembly Sharing

This week, I shared my Langkawi Ironman experience with the school during the upper and lower sec assemblies. Above is one of the videos that I showed. The other is the Marc Herremans one. I have to thank youtube user raterateraterate for his video which I cannibalised to make mine.

He did not give up

Living the dream

50x Mt Faber Biking Madness!! :)

"I ride because being on my bike is being in the most peaceful place on Earth........when my mind is blank and I just hear the 'humming' of the tires of my bike.....that's paradise! It's just me, my bike and the roads of life. I lose myself in the thoughts of going faster and faster. It's the only place where I don't 'have to' do anything. I do it because I want to. Feeling an immense satisfaction of achieving what was once just a dream.....being fit, going fast, living to the fullest....not just exisiting."
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I have always admired those 15 guys who did the first Ironman triathlon in 1978. They were the pioneers of the sport. They were a bunch of fit people who wanted to test the boundaries of human endurance. They had no idea what the day would bring; it was just a long adventure out there, finishing was good enough.

I have always wanted to do something crazy for the first time as well. So when I chanced upon the "Faberx50" post on trifam forum late last Wednesday, it got me really excited! Hey, this is some event that I can probably do well in! I should be able to complete 50! I know that I can climb relatively well, and I still have some residual fitness from Langkawi. The only problem was that I have never done more than 10 loops of Faber, and that was done almost 10 years ago! The last time I did loops there was during the December holidays, where I did at most 6 loops, albeit in a big gear. Somehow, despite all these question marks, deep inside me, I knew that I should be able to finish it if I pace myself well, and watch my hydration and nutrition - key rules for any endurance event.

I finally decided to commit to this event on Friday evening. The only special prep was to eat my favourite pasta at Anchor Point food court, followed by a 6-inch Italian BMT sandwich meal at Subway:)

At 5am on Sat morning, 15 cyclists gathered at the base of Mt Faber for a short brief by the event organizer. And thereafter, we were led on a familiarisation lap by Gary Harvey. Gary was singled out during the briefing as the guy most likely to complete it the fastest. He must be some experienced biker, so I decided to follow his pace and keep him close to me.

I was able to ride easily at the front with Gary in the initial laps. The pace was not fast at all. I was watching my HR and trying my best to keep my effort low; no surges, just constant steady effort as I din want to burn off energy unnecessarily.  I was riding my new bike and have only recently dialed in my position, so I was really surprised at how good I was feeling. I followed him for around 5 laps and then he just took off. I wanted to follow but at the back of my mind, I really wanted to complete the 50, so no crazy moves for me. I got to find my own rhythm and set my own pace. The thought of becoming the first Singaporean to complete 50 laps of Faber was a constant motivation!:)

Honestly, I did not find the climbing tough at all till 30+ laps. By then, the sun was up and the 15 that had started had dwindled to a handful. I was reduced to spinning slowly through sections where I had previously stood up to pedal. I was taking longer and longer to complete each lap. My left adductor was getting a bit tight and there were times where I felt like cramping in the hamstrings, but a subtle shift in position here and there or a change in pedalling technique helped ease things out a bit. It also helped that there was a fast downhill to look forward to at the top of the hill. I have got bad bike handling skills normally, but I can descend down Faber relatively fast!:)

I provided some excitement for the guys manning the aid station when I caught up to Gary on the 47th lap . Somehow, he had slowed down dramatically during the lap. I remembered seeing him going up while I was coming down at the end of my previous lap. I had caught up like 400m on him within that lap. I actually passed him when he was about to stop to refill his bottle at the bottom of the lap; I could hear him unclip from his pedals. But once he saw me passing him, he quickly clipped back on and stood up and rode away from me. Me? I did not respond. I just did not want to risk cramping big time. Finishing was good enough for me that day.

After 6 hrs 40+mins, I finally made it 50!! Total distance travelled was around 138k, with 80+k of climbing!! And I finished around 3 mins behind the champ! We were the only ones who made it! It is an experience that I will always cherish!! :)

The Champ

5am start

Applying the lessons

I have always prided myself on being an athlete. Being fit has given me the ability to handle the physical challenges of daily living and working. I am generally more upbeat at the end of the working day than my peers; perhaps it is because I know it is almost time for my workout fix:). Being fit has also allowed me to teach with more gusto, which may mean the difference between a student paying attention rather than falling asleep in class. 

However, I have let myself be beaten down by the stresses of working life lately. I should have handled the stress better, but I din. Mentally, I was weak. The lessons that I learnt in sports were not transferred to real life application.

Life can be quite overwhelming at times. I really need to treat it like a long distance race and rely on God for strength, which I have not been doing.

Langkawi 2010

"If you want something bad enough, you'll find a way. If not, you will find an excuse." Lead-up to race day
Two days before the race, I woke up with a slight sore throat and felt feverish . Why now?! I immediately popped down some echinacea and panadol cold relief. These helped a little. So did the plenty of rest I took once I landed in Langkawi. It was good that Emily arrived one day after me, so that really allowed me to focus on all the logistics of race preparation -setting up bike, attending the race brief, packing up my race bags etc by myself.
The night before the race, I had a simple dinner of pasta and chicken rice with emily, and then it was off to getting as much sleep as possible. I was still feeling a bit off, and I woke up in the middle of the night to pop in two more panadol.

Swim
There are always many questions at the start of a race. The most important one is "Can I make it?". I was already feeling much better than on Thursday but still feeling cold. Standing at the pontoon before I got into the water, I told myself "This is it! Whatever it takes to get to the fnish line!"
I had a terrible swim. My slowest ironman swim ever! I felt weak. I was not sure how my body would respond to all the physical stresses given that I was unwell so once I lost the big group I was in 1k into the swim, I just swam easy. I was keeping track of the distance markers and it felt like it took forever to reach the halfway point. I looked at my watch as I rounded the turn-around, and it read 43 minutes. 43 MINUTES!! That is going to be a 1:26 for the whole swim! Way too slow!! I must be having a really bad day or the race organizers must have done a really bad job measuring the course. It was only after the race that I found out that there was a strong current on the way out, cos at the end, I clocked a 1:18 swim.

Bike
Taking it easy on the swim helped set me up for my fastest ironman bike split ever. I had the first signals of how my legs would perform when I came out of the water. I felt like I had just done a long warm-up and my legs felt fresh and light. Once I mounted my bike and started pedalling, my legs felt strong! Somehow, I no longer felt sick:)
The organisers changed the course again last year, so this is a completely different course from the one I did 3 years ago. I purposely chose not to see the new course before the race, so that I would ride more conservatively. I kept on monitoring my HR. In training, I made it a point to keep it below 150. However, for at least half of the bike, I hardly went below 160. I was afraid I would blow up, cos that is what happens when I ride with too high a HR during training. But somehow, on that day, I just kept going and going:) I was also not bothered with any of the saddle discomfort issues that had dogged me during training!
By the 4th lap, I had dispensed of the group of three that I was with and rode alone. My nutrition plan worked and I did not suffer any energy lows. The aid stations were well stocked this time round, and I had a pleasant surprise when my lips tasted ice cold gatorade (in the correct concentration) when I grabbed my first bottle at the aid station.
It also helped that Emily went around the course in a rented cab. She appeared around the 3rd lap at the hilliest part of the course after the airport. Seeing her around made it that much easier to tackle those years.
I had a brief scare near the end of the bike though. I cramped up just as I was climbing the last hill back into town. I had to stop and let the cramp ease off.

Run
I spent quite some time in the changing tent. I just sat there and readied myself mentally for the marathon ahead. I have not run anything above 26k in training. I have not run a marathon in 3 years. In fact, 26k was the longest distance run I have ever completed in a long time. Do I have it in me to finish this?? YES I HAVE!! I CAN DO IT!!
I started my run walking the first 50 metres. Then I started running. A Japanese athlete passed me and I latched on to him. He was running slow and steady, but slow and steady is what I needed to get me to the finish line. Though my legs were tired, I did not experience the cramping the usually dogs me at the start of the run.
I had to run 5 loops of around 8k each. That helped break the run into more manageable bits. I stopped at every aid station to drink. At first, I drank both Gatorade and Coke. But I found Coke to be easier to go down the throat, so I switched to drinking Coke instead. Around the 3rd loop, I tried taking some Gatorade again. But I puked it all out instead! It was a good thing as I felt less bloated and could run slightly better.
My last loop was the most difficult mentally. I knew I was going to make it! I could walk all the way and still make it, so there is this tendency to want to slow down. But I was still pushing; walk a bit, run a bit. I wasn't going very fast, but I just wanted to give it my best shot.

1k from the finish, as I crossed the arch outside Seaview Hotel, I could hold it no longer. All those pent up emotions just got the better of me and I cried a bit. I am going to be an Ironman once again!


Thank you dear
My finishing the Ironman would never have been possible without Emily. She has been my personal PT the last couple of months. When I have any tightness in my muscles, she would gladly ease them out for me. As a result, I was able to be injury-free for the first time in months!! She has also been putting up with my grouchiness when things are not going well for me. What was most incredible was that while I was out there on the course for more than 11hrs, she was also out there taking pictures and filming video. She is no professional photographer, but she has managed through sheer luck to capture some nice photos:) One of them is the one that appears as my blog header. Thank you very much dear, you are really an iron-mate!:)

Hawaii??

I want to go to Hawaii again. I have been asking myself what is this fascination with Hawaii all about. Well, besides going to church, the Hawaii Ironman is one thing that has had a big influence on my life, Growing up, I was a scrawny, pimply boy lacking in self confidence. Taking up running, and later, catching the Hawaii Ironman on TV changed all that. The last time I went there in 2000, I was all alone. I had just started working, so din have that much money to spend. I regret not having seen more of the beautiful island. I want to go there again and this time, I want to bring emily and my parents along. My parents have never seen me do a triathlon before and they are getting old. If there is one triathlon I would like them to see me compete in, that would be the grandest of them all - Hawaii! It's not going to be easy - I have to clock sub 10:15 at a qualifier in Asia to stand a chance. Looking at where I am at now, 10:15 seems so very far away. But honestly, I believe that with perseverance and a little bit of luck, it might just be possible.
However, what if I can never go to Hawaii again? I may have to come to terms with this fact one day. But in the mean time, I will continue to try to live each day to the fullest, cherish my loved ones, and keep on doing what I absolutely enjoy! :)

Lawrence Ng, you are an IRONMAN!!

After being a man in motion for 11hr25min, I am an Ironman once again!!:)

All packed and ready to go!

The Final Countdown

It's 6 more days to the big day!!.....and I am really excited!! I am done with all my training. I have come this far without injury or illness, so let's hope that I can keep it that way all the way to the start line.

I watched the 1998 Hawaii Ironman on TV last night AGAIN :). The 1998 edition is one of my favourites. I like the part where the Ironman Hall of Famers gather into a chapel and talk about the mental aspect of the race.

Here are some words of wisdom from them:

"No matter how much you prepare, you can never control the race....the race is just there, you have to respond to the dynamics of it and find those places in yourself that are dormant, that sort of come alive when you are under that type of pressure."
-Mark Allen

"The actual physicalness of accomplishing this is very doable if you just put in the training, it's the mental...totally mental.If you can come into the race and find the flow....take everything that is dealt to you at the moment and handle it....that's where all the success and failures come, because if you don't handle it, the greatest training in the world is absolutely no good at all."
-Paula Newby Fraser

"The novelty of this race wears off about an hour out on the lava fields. There is so much momentum and so much hype and their adrenaline is coming out of their ears. But once you get out to the lava fields, you are all by yourself. I think a lot of people get hung up; I got to finish this race, I got to do this X time. I don't pay attention to time at all. I just let that moment consume me."
- Dave Scott

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Ever heard of "Lawrence Ng Formula"?:) That's what I will be using for the Ironman. I was getting sick of eating gels during my rides and I have trouble swallowing salt tablets, so I decided to try Infinit Nutrition. I answered the questionnaire on their website and that helped create this formula, which reduces the need for me to carry any gel or salt (though I will carry some gel with me in case I miss my special needs bag). I have not used this in competition. Langkawi will be the first time, so it will be one big experiment, though I have tried in during my long rides and it seems ok so far.

Head Games Part 2

Some thoughts during my long ride and post-workout today...........

- I don't think I am going to do well for Langkawi...I have not done everything that I have set out to do.
+ Given the amount of time that you have; the stress and triedness from work, the need to balance time training with time with emily.....you are not a pro, you have done well
- I think 10:37 may be a little too ambitious. Perhaps I shouldn't even be doing an Ironman. I am just not strong enough. Maybe I should wait another year.
+ There is never a good time to do an Ironman. There will be always be other distractions in life. You have done well by training the best you could under the circumstances. If everyone thinks like you, then the 4 min mile will never be broken. Now go out there and enjoy yourself!
- My long rides is only up to 150, long run only up to 26k.
+ Given where you started, maybe it is a good idea that you did not overdo things. Anyway, there is really nothing you can do now. Just focus on the next 1.5 weeks and make sure you rest well, eat well and dun do anything stupid!!
- I am really scared now. The Ironman is going to be a long, hard day. Am I going to make it?
+ Just take it one step at a time, remember? Just think back to all those times when you thought you were not going to make it, but you did. Remember 1999, you suffered through a 6:45 bike in the nz cold and then ran a ~4:12 for the marathon? Remember 2000? You did a 60k ride with daniel on the Queen K and then went back to your home totally demoralised because the winds were so strong. You wondered how you were going to ride 180k. But on race day, you did just that!!! Just take it one stroke, one step at a time. Listen to your body, focus, and dun do anything stupid!!
- I think I am going to embarass myself if I dun hit my targets.
+ Hey, I think you are taking a bold step forward by stating your goal. This is the boldest I have ever seen you. Just ask yourself, why are you doing the Ironman? I dun think it is to show off to your frens cos not many of them know you are doing one, except for some close frens and colleagues. You are doing this for yourself. So dun be so concerned about what others think. Think instead of all the things from you have gained from trying to reach your goals: discipline, time management, knowledge of your strengths and weaknesses etc.
+ And you know what? If the Ironman was that easy, everybody will be doing it :)

Absolutely Beautiful!

I want to learn diving!! I want to visit Sipadan someday!!

Inspirational Speech